...

Woke up Saturday morning paranoid and painful memories of a dream.. It happens to me when I have disturbed sleep, like wake up and try to sleep again early morning after being wide awake and there you are up with some silly or random or freaky dream and freaky this time it was. Stuck in Chicago and the dad and AG go for a walk and she is missing and we are not able to find her. I hated it, absolutely hated it and hated myself for such a bad dream. I couldnt get over it - phew! some of these dreams seem so real and absolutely freak you out and heart starts pounding and all that. Its one of the fears after being a parent makes you so weak in your knees its your beautiful daughters.

The root cause of this was a discussion with colleagues about letting go when your kids grow up. An older aged colleague was talking about her daughter giving birth and the whole experience and another daughter who recently joined college and will be away from home for the first time etc. I was in tears that some day it will be me. A big fat lump in my throat. I was telling her indeed it passes by so soon. Once in a while we have sleep deprivation and smaller complaints about naughtiness I pass on, through this blog and to my parents but I take great pride in it. Fact is I enjoy it. All this lack of sleep phase, fussing over them... I love it. Though people often ask questions like "how are you managing? must be tough with kids/twins, I hope they dont trouble you or inconvenience your routine etc etc" It makes me wonder how can it be?. It was our choice to have kids and we love every bit of our routine and them....

Saturday took the girls to my friends' place for lunch hoping P would get some much needed sleep but he started some work around the house of putting shelves etc in the garage and then it continued on Sunday. Sunday we just stayed home. And I watched couple of movies while kids napped. Kai po che the ending part was due to be completed so I completed that and then saw Jab tak hai jaan. I exactly knew what type of movie I was watching with the latter, no surprises there, some 80's type over done tale.

 After the long weekend the weeks ahead seem rather long to think about it.