Winter beauty

So snow has finally arrived since winter has set upon us. It’s cold yet beautiful everywhere.  Nature and its seasons really amazes me. In New England we are blessed with 4 clear seasons and each season is so beautiful. I really cannot complain about it anymore. It sure has its shortcomings like any other season but this too shall pass like it does every year. This peace and quiet around is amazing!

Girls are very happy with winter and its snow. Despite getting their first cough and cold bout they maintain cheerful faces and run around. We have to really learn from such cherubic angels to live in the present and not complain. They are the fuel to our engines, truly such a pleasure to watch them grow and care for them.  We put up or first Christmas tree and Alex (after Alexander the Great!) our little elf arrived home this year. Life’s simple pleasures I must say.

As this turns out to be a busy December at work and is keeping me on my toes, my cooking adventure has also been going very well. I reached another personal milestone. A target I put for myself to cook and learn that I hadn’t tried before. Something very satisfying about cooking I love and enjoy. I put a lot of thought into methods and ingredients and it’s close to heart.

Girls are growing up as usual and talking a lot. Its simply amazing to see the kind of things they say and do now. One moment they teach me how to cook and another time they need to be held and embraced. Truly, girls are girls. They are Daddy’s girls and Mommy’s girls! Only those who have them know how blessed they are!

Oh and..

What I forgot to mention in my previous post was how we got through thier first very adult like blood test for kids for their annual check up. Last year it was ajust a prick in the finger and somehow I assumed thats what it will be this time. But I was surprised that they extracted as much as they would for adults. I wasnt with the kids inside, their dad took them one by one while I ushered them out and didnt get to see  the actual blood extraction only the final output in tubes. No tears no fuss, stickers and all worked out fine I guess they are growing up. I was very proud of them. Needless to say we have to be thanful for the wonderful nurse we got who did it so smoothly.

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Woke up Saturday morning paranoid and painful memories of a dream.. It happens to me when I have disturbed sleep, like wake up and try to sleep again early morning after being wide awake and there you are up with some silly or random or freaky dream and freaky this time it was. Stuck in Chicago and the dad and AG go for a walk and she is missing and we are not able to find her. I hated it, absolutely hated it and hated myself for such a bad dream. I couldnt get over it - phew! some of these dreams seem so real and absolutely freak you out and heart starts pounding and all that. Its one of the fears after being a parent makes you so weak in your knees its your beautiful daughters.

The root cause of this was a discussion with colleagues about letting go when your kids grow up. An older aged colleague was talking about her daughter giving birth and the whole experience and another daughter who recently joined college and will be away from home for the first time etc. I was in tears that some day it will be me. A big fat lump in my throat. I was telling her indeed it passes by so soon. Once in a while we have sleep deprivation and smaller complaints about naughtiness I pass on, through this blog and to my parents but I take great pride in it. Fact is I enjoy it. All this lack of sleep phase, fussing over them... I love it. Though people often ask questions like "how are you managing? must be tough with kids/twins, I hope they dont trouble you or inconvenience your routine etc etc" It makes me wonder how can it be?. It was our choice to have kids and we love every bit of our routine and them....

Saturday took the girls to my friends' place for lunch hoping P would get some much needed sleep but he started some work around the house of putting shelves etc in the garage and then it continued on Sunday. Sunday we just stayed home. And I watched couple of movies while kids napped. Kai po che the ending part was due to be completed so I completed that and then saw Jab tak hai jaan. I exactly knew what type of movie I was watching with the latter, no surprises there, some 80's type over done tale.

 After the long weekend the weeks ahead seem rather long to think about it.

Being fair

One of the challenges I have been concerned about facing is being able to treat both my children at par through actions in hearts they always will be but how to make sure actions also speak the same. There are days when one is more naughty than another and hence gets more timeouts or chided. One behaves much better and gets appreciated. Although it does not reflect anythign against the other one. Its important to acknowledge the other one too. I feel bad even though I sincerely know I  am not being biased. Through out our life we see teachers, relatives, friends, making such comments and comparing between 2 people whether students, friends, siblings,children or their spouses etc it does worry at times. Maybe I am thinking too much simply cos it pisses me off. :-)  

Rain forest cafe etc

We have always stopped by Rainforest cafe as kids love although scared of the animals crocodile and monkey etc. Finally took them for lunch and they loved it. They took a nice long nap in the car after that and we got home. They obviously didnt eat well but its ok we just wanted to give tem a break from the usual dal chawal. They loved the atmosphere. The lady serving us just got water first. Then AG just barely 2 1/2 started asking me, was the lady angry and not bringing food, just got us water. What happened? I was stunned. So easily a basic serving task also is scope for misinterpretation. Things you do and dont do are all so open to misinterpretation. I told her no, that's how it is. Water comes and food will follow. Lady is not angry. Although on hindsight should have gone further and explained kinda felt she is too young.

Week 20 2012

And so after the longest week ever finally back to our routine past 2 weeks. And since I am modest enough to accept it that I am not a super woman ;) I was definitely exhausted after a week of 2 clingy sick babies, AG stuck to me and AL mostly to P, but feeding is my department and its tough to feed congested babies, its actually more stressful, simply because I give in to what they want to eat when and I dont force feed as I trust their instincts but of course in the end it ends up being way too less than their actual consumption but as a mother its hard to sleep at night knowing your baby didnt feed as well as she should have. And then weekend we have friends over. So over all its mostly sleep deprivation which took me a few days to get over.

We took the girls to the temple as it was their birthday per the Hindu calendar on 6th. I dressed them in outfits I had purchased for them in FabIndia way back in our 2010 trip. Comfy Indian clothes and they looked super cute in it. Luckily weather improved too. So its been over a week since then. Girls have as usual been talkative and naughty.

Its been raining every other day past 2 weeks. Temperatures are perfect!

Its been six months since MIL passed away already. Sigh!

Getting thru the sickies

So its been Day 3 we have been home. Both are recovering but congestion still has not declined. AL's fever luckily has come down and AG who caught it right after AL is still on recovery mode with low grade fever. They still have to learn the whole blow your nose and spitting. Luckily last week of the month is not as crazy as the firt 2 weeks of the month at work. I think this whole change in weather patterns, hot and cold days alternating with rains is causing this. This is the first time since we got back from India almost 5 months since they have had to stay home - other small issues they recovered over the weekend to go to daycare regularly.

Saw that movie Tere Naal Ishq hogaya or some such Punju titled Ritesh and Genelia starrer was lousy - its like they just made it cos they were to be married. Eeks!

Bummed to here P's Uncle is admitted to hospital although the infection is coming down or so they say, hope he feels better and the immediate family gets more peace of mind.

21 months

And before you know its that time of the month again. Girls are now 21 months. They are growing and absorbing like sponge. Every moment is so precious. There are times I just want to sit back and watch and gaze at them having fun with their Dad and do nothing. But with two active toddler-girls that's not possible. :-) Days are so full on that their newborn stage seems so deep in the past. I know it will all come back to me. Those will be the days when they will be all on their own and you will feel you have so much time on hand and not know what to do ;)Nope little girls always need their parents and I love that about having daughters.

The "wheels on the bus" is slowly losing it. The videos are not being watched, but AG still asks me to sing them and joins me where ever she can. AL today surprised me by singing Elmo's song, "la la la la...elmoooo..." she goes very cutely. 

They ask me to draw shapes and animals on the magnetic board so that they can guess. AL is very surprised why I am able to draw some basic shapes and characters and while she swipes the pen on that board the results are not the same :-) AL is also spending time with the seat buckles on her high chair, her latest fascination, she asks us to open then she buckles herself, nonstop she goes on and on :-) AG like Robot and asks me to keep drawing it and she likes to say it. She is a a little too passionate. She like something she goes on and on with it, she over does it gets obsessed with it, then it comes down until something else takes its place. Whether its songs, specific characters or books. She is a lot into books, both are. AL is more smooth in her expression and transition. The one consistent think is AL's love for dogs, she has kissed at least one of those soft toy doggies and hugged and rolled with them every single day since she turned one or even earlier.

End of the day I am so lucky to have them. Twins and especially girls (I cant stop raving about how much bonding there is where family has girls or at least 1 girl ;) Joys of having daughters, but its the parenting too...). I see my friends starting to talk about whether to have a second child or not and the whole "timing" thing. I am glad the 'second child planning' has passed for me. Its extra work initial few years and probably down the line the pinch for college fees hits us at the same time financially instead of one after another, but still, it all makes it worth having twins, and makes me feel very productive in a number of ways ;)  Its truly a blessing, a blessing not in disguise, it just is a very obvious one... :-)

That cold again; active toddlers=an exhausted mommy! :-)

Finally had to goto the Doc today and apparently I need the antibiotic. I have some sinus infection issues and a nagging cough, I get these bouts I had to actually cut my meeting short today for that and head home to get an appt with the doc. Apparently we are not exposed to all the possible cold and cough viruses yet, Thanks to A&A and the daycare germs :-)

Its strange its my 5th or 6th sore throat incident since they started daycare. Of which this is the second time I am actually having to see a doc for it to get an antibiotic. Hmm so much for my immunity?

Ladies have been acting up a lot lately what 'terrible twos' have in store I know not ;) AG wants everything done according to her whims and fancies, leg warmers, outfits, food (she wants rice with ghee and nothing else) and wants to eat on her own, then she is obsessed with kolaveri and wheels on the bus and demands it plays nonstop if not she throws a fit. And her obsession with shoes (it runs in the family, blame the genes, dad/mom/my mom/my mom's dad, we have been obsessed with shoes and I can see how well its passing on the next Gen.) she chooses everything now pretty much what she wants to wear, eat etc.  AL is a picky eater and she just repeats what I say end of story, its like we are playing this game of repeat and annoy your mom game ;) lol They have mastered the art of sayin NO and saying ALL DONE, so its been used mercilessly and just about on anything and everything. AL is showing interest in errrr boys ;) she seems to be particularly liking this blond blue eyed boy named Issac and then he moved to another class for whatever reason and now its Mason. Hmmm AG is very desi ;) her food tastes, her looks, her interest, she just seems to repeat Aarav since they met him couple of weeks back. LOL

And yes AL talks a lot more and is rolling her RRRRRs - Dad said something was karam please dont eat it, and the parrot kept saying kaaram, kaaram, kaarrram. Until now it wasnt evident at all although my BFF mentioned over the phone she could hear her chatter and it seemed to have teh American accent, I refuse dto believe her how a baby talk/blabber could have an accent this was 1 month back exactly...

So this week has been tough because of my cold and cough and generally felt too exhausted. Hopefully it subsides with medication soon and I am back to my complete/real self...

Seek and you shall find

Amongst the many good things about parenting twins is that you do not hesitate to ask for help if overwhelmed and that is a good thing according to me.

19 months

So the girls are 19 months old and they are into their 20th month. The last 2 months just flew past. AL is being a chatter box as I have mentioned several times before and she repeats everything and says her friends names from school (so does AG actually) :-) Both of them are identifying and inform us when they 'potty' (I know a mini miracle I tell you!)

AG is going through a tantrum phase right now (something AL went through weeks ago) she craves for attention and is being stubborn, she wakes up at nights (teething) and the usual saga :-)

They had their 18 months vaccinations and they are all set until about 4 (annual checkups are needed of course). They did so much better with the doc this time round, smiled at her, played with her stethoscope, and the cow that flashes light and says moo :-)

So doc was asking us on the feeding patterns etc of AG and AL. I inquired if I am supposed to supplement them with Pediasure. And she was against it. I was surprised I told her that these kids like all others have their ups and downs and downs are pretty bad especially since we dont force feed. More cos we realized that when you force feed them they develop an aversion to eating and then they dont ask for food on their own as they are supposed to per normal instincts, cos they are always force fed right on time, atleast that's how we feel it impacts our girls and our Pediatrician explained to us which I feel is true. So coming back to Pediasure, Doc explained its a critical age as now they learn to chew and eat on their own, the moment they dont eat and you give them Pediasure it will take them a step backwards, rely on liquid/pasty diet more, cos its an easy and tasty/SUGARY option. Yep, she totally said they did not need that kinda sugar at this age. Even though they dont have juices, they can still stay away from Pediasure. So hence we have not one through the Pediasure route.

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We had friends come over and stay with us so time just flew this long weekend. Went to Wrentham outlet mall accompanying my friend also. While chatting with SC I realized that everybody does their best as a parent, with the given resources, energy, circumstances. You just cannot say one is being a better mother than another (in an average working household of this generation obviously where in abuse and other extreme things dont come to play lets assume). Saying that the approach also of every parent is different, some go by the book and follow the very 'western' way, some the 'Indian way' if you really want to typecast it and most of us a hybrid, but everyone has their own style. At the same time one has no right to comment on others parenting skills, One could rather rather focus that energy on own parenting skills, cos I am sure other mothers if the really want to could also find what you could improve on  (general observation SC and I made together). But why must one even get into that? If you want to ruin or end you relationship with that person then best way is to comment on others parenting or others kids, no one ever takes those lightly ....

Whether the different feeding patterns or sleep patterns or different bath times, everyone's prioritization and approach differs. One thing I told myself right from start that I will never be feeling guilty as a mother. I will always give in my best to them. Period. I might be tired one day and just make them an omelette and serve with bread, OR I might skip their bath if we all are not up for it, they are too sleepy etc but I will not be guilty of that nor made to feel guilty about it. If I later feel I should not have done something or done something very differently I will take ownership to that and not repeat it again (and of course I confess in my personal blog to them.) Kids come first in my life, but, I dont want to be a martyr and then blow my trumpet how much I sacrificed for them and what they do for me in return will never be enough. Yes we cant repeat some of those awful situations we see and hear. But that's my take.

On that note, everyone asks me how I manage with twins. They are either sympathetic cos they think one kid is itself a lot of work or others slightly pity that they have it so much better with kids spaced out and planned. Thanks, but...... I manage pretty much like everyone else and I dont feel I am doing anything out of the ordinary or that I am just doing very less in comparison to others either, again there cannot be a direct comparison though. Women in their late 20s early 30s will find that its a busy time for us, we are mostly working mothers with young kids, who run a house, most of us cook twice a day, like to take up most of the kids responsibilities or divide with husband however it works in each household, we ALL get through it. Period. We all manage in our own way and cheers to that.

And now this very last week of this year, the clock ticks slowly, as we get into 2012.

Think twice before you speak

The girls were falling asleep, well one did and one was almost about to. I was chatting with P and ended the sentence with the words "josh main" and to my surprise my darling AL repeated like a parrot after me. AL has been faster in picking up words and language in general, since a newborn we kinda guessed it. She repeats most things she hears in our sentences. So which means now people around them (not just parents) have to watch their language, tone, body language etc. Moreover we cannot undo what we say :-)

Now a days she smacks us all and says - boo - boo and then immediately sowweee (sorry) all in one sentence and one breath, so she thinks she can getaway with it :-) My darling by now I realize that words once said will have their impact all your life, it might fade but will still have an impact how much ever you apologize unfortunately, so pick your words wisely :-)

INDIA

And so taking a break from our new jobs and 2 sick kiddos we undertook the much needed trip to India. My poor babies were having a bad cold, fever, and still did very well in the flight I thought. AG didnt sleep all that well but tried to take short naps in intervals. They did have cranky moments also but overall they did really well considering they were sick. So we had to land in Bangalore since my inlaws were at my brother-in-law's. Spent a few days there and headed back to Hyderbad. Nothing like home. Missing inlaws though as they are part of this 'home' set up in HYD and my parents and inlaws lived like a couple of streets away so we functioned as a great team when I visited last year in terms of spending time with kids. The first week was pretty hard. The kids were badly jetlagged. Hungry at odd times. Fever on and off with a bad cold/stuffy/runny nose and cough and majorly congested. Not totally adjusted to the new environment. Cant blame them. P and I ourselves hadnt slept well for past few days since we started new jobs (plus I have ended up with another strep throat issue I think due to change of water/environment)  and kids were down with fever and cold and teething issues then the travel fatigue, over all got on to us and cant imagine what the ladies went through as they cant even express yet. As an adult one needs to have the sense to understand these things about kids. I  tried my level best to comfort them. Now that we are in Hyd and I have my support system (my parents) kids are doing a little better but suddenly on a hunger strike. AL especially has lost a lot of weight.  I feel so bad but its all an experience. That's how kiddos will learn to adjust and respect and also appreciate that traveling does take toll but no matter what you have to be there for the family and friends who really matter to you and ignore the inconveniences and negativities surrounding it.

I think we have lived the text book example of parents whose kids fall sick when sent to daycare after staying home for a while plus they are twins so makes you feel sickness is so prolonged and endless in the household but its all part and parcel of parenting twins :-)

No I will not dress them alike

As a mother of 16 (almost 17) months old twin girls I get asked why I dont dress them alike i.e. that is buy the very same dress for both of them. I sometimes say 'they are so different in personalities, I somehow cannot pick the same clothes most of the times' or just dont answer and smile depending. And that's the truth. I can definitely pick clothes based on personality after knowing them for this long ;).  I wonder if its a way parents try to impart they are not showing any difference between children and treat them equally. But through buying same clothes? Hmm?

But I am not sure about other twin moms or in fact parents of more then one child. I dont agree one should dress them alike. Saying that I do find one such outfit which is very cute that both will look good in, I try to get a  different color with the same pattern, but mostly they never dress alike. I completely respect parents opinion who like to dress them alike. In fact why twins?, there are parents who have kids apart and yet dress them similarly just buy outfits of different sizes like you would for twins typically. Back in the days when (parents generation and older) parents would buy cloth/dress material of the same pattern and dress all the kiddos alike (just different sizes obviously). One lady mentioned to me if you dont dress them alike they will start comparing one another's outfits soon. Well! we will just have to deal with it I guess and even the kids will have to. If they end up wanting the same outfit of the bunch I pick for their selection fine by me, if they dont that's fine too.