Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Pondering...

It’s been 3 years since my maternal Grandfather has passed away.  It’s one of those things I can’t express but just feeling the void. Memories of my childhood just come flooding, him teaching me shlokas, and poems and songs. My Grandfather was very kid friendly like my mother, loved children especially baby girls and played and sang to me so nicely. It feels so distant and so far away now, like another life.
Its Janmashatami tomorrow and it gets even worse.  Every single Janmashtami we have fasted in the evening and had large scale poojas in Kothi since I know and have memory and all of us sat together on the floor for simple and umpteen varieties of dishes. The Arghya recital and offering which is an important ceremony for Madhwas for Janmashtami my Grandfather used to perform.
All those days will never come back and so will this very present which will get buried in the past. And still people find enough time to hurt, insult, and gossip and what not to fellow beings.
This birthday I was thinking of how I have come full circle. I am back to being my old self in so many ways and being the REAL me; there are so many things I have to be grateful and thankful for. For all those lovely people and experiences in my life to the unpleasant ones who have taught me the hard way to value my ‘real’ relationships even more. My 2 girls who constantly help me become a better person. From the food I eat, to the things I say and I wished I had said – “its ok Amma, it happens” they tell me in the cutest of voices. I see divinity everyday in my house since these 2 angels entered my life! I am so glad I have daughters I feel truly blessed.

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