My 2 cents to A & A

Dear A&A,

I have been thinking and wanted to pass on some advise time to time....

As human beings we are very judgmental. We want things to happen our way. We claim we are very flexible and accommodative but we turn our backs are capable of nurturing negative feelings. Everybody is different no two people are alike and that's what makes life interesting. But bottom line we all judge people, its human, but please remember you have a choice you dont have to share or pass judgements vocally about anyone especially about immediate family members and close friends to others. Whether its your parents/inlaws, siblings, sons/sons inlaw or daughters/daughters inlaw, cousins, aunts/uncles all the immediate family members and your best friends or next door neighbor . You must be frank and honest in all your relationships. Nobody is perfect remember, We all have flaws and like I said human mind will not stop judging you have to train it, but keep it to yourself and try not to pass it on. As an exercise for every negative thing you talk say two positive things about that very same person. If you cannot find any, you know that you are nurturing way too much negativity in you. However you rather not have that relationship than pretending and complaining about it. Either be honest and focus on improving it or not have it. Its all a matter of choice. You choose your own happiness. I am learning too everyday and trying to practise the above.

Dont crave for attention and burn bridges. Just because you want to be liked and adored and respected you dont have to put others down, Focus on yourself and your relationship but dont "scheme and plan" to hurt others for attention. As babies you crave for attention and tend to hurt one another, I know its your instincts its natural and happens, but I dont encourage as it is and you get time outs for that and I will continue for it not to happen once you are grown up a bit. At the same time Sycophancy is the dangerous opposite of the former. Be yourself. No excessive praise and flattery to anyone to get things done. You cannot insult and hurt or "use" your immediate family members or anyone to nurture your ego and then expect all your relationships to be normal going forward. You mess up then you have to face consequences for it.

Its truly said that one has to "earn" respect. If you have a clean heart, are honest in your opinions and feelings towards all, you dont have to fear anything, you dont have to seek respect, respect will come from every nook and corner by itself! Like AK quoted in SJ - Respect comes with behavior and conduct not merely with qualifications/degrees, age or money. Earn it dont claim it and misuse it.

　

This is all from personal experience and a few mistakes made and a lot of observation. Hope this helps at some point in the future.

PS: This is not a preaching just advise. Like I said I am learning and trying to practise it myself. Once you guys grow up a bit hope we can guide and support each other if possible.