No I will not dress them alike

As a mother of 16 (almost 17) months old twin girls I get asked why I dont dress them alike i.e. that is buy the very same dress for both of them. I sometimes say 'they are so different in personalities, I somehow cannot pick the same clothes most of the times' or just dont answer and smile depending. And that's the truth. I can definitely pick clothes based on personality after knowing them for this long ;).  I wonder if its a way parents try to impart they are not showing any difference between children and treat them equally. But through buying same clothes? Hmm?

But I am not sure about other twin moms or in fact parents of more then one child. I dont agree one should dress them alike. Saying that I do find one such outfit which is very cute that both will look good in, I try to get a  different color with the same pattern, but mostly they never dress alike. I completely respect parents opinion who like to dress them alike. In fact why twins?, there are parents who have kids apart and yet dress them similarly just buy outfits of different sizes like you would for twins typically. Back in the days when (parents generation and older) parents would buy cloth/dress material of the same pattern and dress all the kiddos alike (just different sizes obviously). One lady mentioned to me if you dont dress them alike they will start comparing one another's outfits soon. Well! we will just have to deal with it I guess and even the kids will have to. If they end up wanting the same outfit of the bunch I pick for their selection fine by me, if they dont that's fine too.

Back to sickies

So while I hoped for a sickness free month at least cos I was starting a new job. AL had one last weekend. Friends from CT had come over for the weekend. It was fun but AL's viral again threw us off our routines. She stayed home for few days before she joined her sister at daycare. We had another set of friends visit us this weekend and AG is running a fever. They had their follow up flu shots on Friday. But this could be either effect of that or another viral. Hopefully it goes away tomorrow and its a one off due to the shots or we have to take her to the doc's. This is the world of parenting twins who goto daycare, its wild but well worth it.

So majorly sleep deprived. Sleep is so underrated I tell you :-) Ask parents of infants and toddlers. ;) I think by the time they grow up and we get our sleep routines back, our age will not let us sleep as we used to. I can see that happening already. I could stay up all night and just sleep early morning till late afternoon,or rather any time to catch up lost sleep. Now that 'anytime' thing doesnt work. I shouldnt blame the age though. Its the responsibilities undertaken by choice mostly. No complaints, the early morning giggles and hugs and nose rubs (kisses in kiwiana-like :)) more than compensate the off-schedules and sleepless nights. For a person who had good 8 hours sleep and never did housework until marriage like most of us probably, this is a 360 degree spin. Tremendous respect for self and awe for this mystical journey undertaken- parenthood!

Work From Home

So officially work-from-home days are being numbered. Its almost a year that I have worked from home (10-11 months) and I am looking forward to transition into an office environment soon, although a little nervous. Undoubtedly this has been one of the best things to happen ever. I started working since girls were 7 months old and they now 16 months and have been working from home with my twin girls with a nanny full time initially to help me during the day. Then parents came over to spend time and help us out for 6 months. And finally we transitioned the girls to daycare and I am transitioning back to 'the office'.

If you ask me I do not enjoy work-from-home in general. I love the hustle-bustle of the office environment. It helps you focus and seperate the work and family life which I prefer. I also enjoy interacting with people etc. But having young babies WFH was a huge blessing and in some sense a miracle for me. Simply cos for my kind of job profile WFH is not an easy option. I was able to watch my babies so closely grow and witness them reach various milestones while having a career that I am really grateful for. Mom always says how she wished she had this option back in the days. She has been a working mother, neither her nor I regret her NOT staying at home (more on that later). But an occasional work from home option would have been nice :-)

But personally for me it helps me have a better routine when I 'go' to work. An occasional day here and there is fine, sometimes it helps you get more work done if your bogged down by meetings at work. But overall having exposure to office environment feels more healthy some how for me. And especially at this point of time when kids also are into daycare. ...It will definitely take me a few days to fall into a proper routine though :-).

My two cents, but its rather banal: Key to WFH is sticking to routine and timings. Overlap between personal and work life to some extent is unavoidable (we have to be realistic), but WFH teaches you to really  'prioritize'  in your life. There might be an occasional setback of either work or family life (children's sickness or important deadline at work perhaps?)  but of course if either really slips or ends up impacting another part of your life, you are not doing something right?

I dont take a 'lunch' break at work, I eat at my desk and take a short walk or some such break. So taking the whole lunch hour at home does not work for me. But I guess for someone who is used to it, they should definitely take the time out. I used it for running errands like bank or quick grocery or pharma purchases or cook dinner, but rarely. Plus since some of my colleagues were on EST and most of them on PST I could start and finish early or start late and finish late. So luckily I could adjust the day based on how it progressed with kids. Of course meetings are meetings no escaping there. I usually logged in late after kids slept for 2 hours at night (8 to 10 typically) so I could get some time for myself and finish any pending tasks at work plus the feeling of sleeping babies is itself very soothing. So over all I made it work and I completed all my tasks. I was also lucky in the sense that the brand I was working for was relatively a 'low hanging fruit' so results of my performance were evident.

I was also very careful the kids should not be heard in any meetings or chats. I was very conscious of that and made the best use of the mute button. I feel it can rub some people in the wrong way. Every one has different mentalities and when you hear some one is working from home, some can over-analyze the positives rather than the challenges. I was wary that it could be interpreted as me enjoying time with kids along with work while others are putting in those long hours in an office. Yes I dont undermine use of some basic Psycology at work. :-)

A good find

So I discovered that BJs sells fresh, organic pasta in their ready to eat section. I got it for the first time last week. I believe they have spinach and cheese ravioli and Squash ravioli varieties in vegetarian section anyway. I quite liked it. It also motivated me to make some homemade marinara/pasta sauce. For the first time I made it and turned out yum. I just made very little as a trial run. I need to get basil when I make it next. Its such a simple recipe. AL and AG both showed interest as sometimes they are bored of the usual daal-chawal- veges combo and they like to eat themselves these days anyway.

AG and AL are fond of ParleG since a few months now. Thanks to my parents who are used to biscuits with morning tea. It used to be a pleasent site in the morning to watch Grandparents and Granddaughters relishing ParleG sitting quietly on the couch at 7am. Well it was mostly AG. (AL was a late latif, she tends to sleep much after AG and wake up much later).

Life's simple pleasures....

A great weekend and some brags!

After a few weeks we finally had a pretty good weekend. Girls like most kids have got adjusted to day care, they cried a little when I dropped them last week and when I turned my back and watched them on the camera they did fine. This week they have even stopped shedding those tears and are happy to be with people their own age for a few hours. I want to almost brag that this is a miracle ;) but its not miraculous, most kids get adjusted and they adjust much better than older people :-) If they dont well we always have some alternative or the other? Initially I thought that this was not going to work out, I could not see them shed tears. We started them part time from 14 months but they barely went in for a few days and didnt do very well. Everyone told me it will get fine and I knew it would but I was so disturbed to see them cry initially. I hate it that they cant fully express themselves and cry, but its part of growing up. They had a bout of viral end of August, then a teething session, then a bad cold but in the mean time those intermittent visits to day care did familiarize them with the surroundings in the mean time. Come 16 months they are off full time and are doing ok. They will adjust much better after a month or so and I wont be surprised if in between we end up with a cold or some such sickness yet again :-(

So I meant to brag about past weekend. Perfect weather and we made it finally to 'Day out with Thomas' AG is the one who is head over heels in love with the tank engine. She was awestruck and expressions were priceless. While we waited for our turn to ride on the train, we had like a waiting period of 1 hour, we spent it in an indoor play area. What we realized was AL simply adjusted very well in new surroundings. She walked straight to those lego toys amid some older kids already playing there, not afraid or overwhelmed and started playing, even smiled and said hi yes my 16 month old can say Hi and Bye very well since she was 13-14 months old. AG is a bit shy, she will tip toe, look at us then slowly blend in. She can get a bit scared of some personalities and run back to us but go back and play again, that's what she did. One such instance AL was playing with a toy crane and some boy stood in between her crane and her, she got mad and she 'almost' yanked that crane at him. Dear God! I ran to her and asked her not to hit, took her to the side and explained, she was too excited and went back and started playing again. AL is our official 'hitter' her instincts tell her to hit if she doesnt approve of something, she hits you with whatever she has in her hand or her hand itself. No one ahs taught her nor has she seen it, she just does it! I know many people might think oh she is a kid, so cute. And mind you her expressions when she hits you are very mature and funny and that cracks me up, but I dont approve of such behavior. I always stop her and try to discipline her right away, she will get it someday and its hopefully soon, but I am being consistent with disciplin-ing her. AG has more tolerance and patience some how she doesnt hit back if her sis ever attacks her, she looks at us with sad eyes, but of course that's cos we are around, if we arent they am sure she would hit back or push or some such force will be used. On that note she was the 'biter' she would bite AL when she was mad or didnt have her way. But I like to think my consistent 'no -no -no ing' and time outs have helped her fight the habit. But I am yet to apply timeouts for hitting on AL.

Anyway I digress, so Day out with Thomas was fun, we got a whistle for them and a balloon and they had F-U-N! It was a 40 mile drive from Waltham but was worth it. Also it was their first train ride and it happened to be on Thomas, how cool is that ;) Today's generation has taken a big leap forward that way. My twins actually came home from the hospital for the first time in a Black BMW, could you beat that ;)Sunday we took them to Parlee farms, apple picking, hay rides, pumpkin patch, farm animals - was fabulous. A little too hot but yet fun. AG walked like a daada eating an apple amid the apple trees refusing to pick any fruits. AL follows instructions pretty well (so far anyway ;)). She plucked them (she tried to but couldnt put enough pressure so I plucked them for her) and would neatly and carefully put in the bag. The trees had low hanging fruits, so great for toddlers. Unfortunately some people had thrown half eaten apples here and there and hence there were a lot of bees that got a bit annoying to walk around with toddlers. Our freinds from our condos who also have 8 month old twins joined us. Got some fab pictures. On the way back we even managed to take a quick darshan at Durga pandal in Billerica (Marshall Middle School) and on the way back AL pointed to the full moon and said mooooon, 2 weeks back I had shown her the moon from the balcony during a good night session (saying good night to every object around) and told her its the MOON and there you go, what can I say :-)

October 8th exactly 2 years since I found out we were expecting our first child (got to know its children much later :-)) ah! still remember the feeling of the onset of motherhood :-)

..and yet again...

So I had to disappear again cos my first born got another viral, her third fever in a month and congestion which has been continuing for over a week now (first being another viral and second due to teething). She recovered and are off to daycare today. But it really got me worried. Not to mention Annie the second one has been suffering from congestion for a while now. Runny nose and little bit of cough and the mucous, eeks! Their sickness throws us so out of schedule (still trying to get into one with day care having just started), lack of sleep, hence low energy levels etc which is all part of parenting and it can get hard with twins, or more than one child in general, but no complaints. The biggest issue being undoubtedly to watch them suffer and go through it. I have to keep reminding myself that this is only helping them get stronger and build immunity and strengthen it. Phew! I have been very critical this past month of the day care somehow. Nothing is good enough for my girls. I was talking to my aunt who has twins and she was mentioning how she was on the same boat as I am not many years ago. Even having a Nanny dosent help as you end up doing main things cos you want it that ‘certain’ way. Learning to let-go is hard but we have to do it. For starters I have slowly decreased carrying and lifting the girls as before. First one year somehow my parents and P & I would love to carry them around, somehow it was irresistible and I still don’t know how some people claim they never carried their babies around as much they just played by themselves. Plus mine were not overly chubby kids so that made it easy. Now that they are older and getting more independent we are letting them get through their tantrums on their own. They have to cry it out if that makes them feel better and come back to reality on some occasions.

So managed to watch Delhi Belly finally. It’s a pretty gross comedy. Over all I found the plot funny. Last weekend we had our luncheon at Wasabi, Sushi place that serves food on the conveyer at Natick Mall. We liked the food, of course as a vege there are some basic options available and it was decent. The vegetarian/vegetable sushi was overdone, too many things going on. I preferred the cucumber and avocado sushi roll and so did the kids. Kids savored it, maybe more for the open ambience too that made a picky eater like Aanie eat a few grains. Aadu nibbled on the PBJ rolls served with rice on the side (I know I thought it was odd, but I guess a Sushi place is willing to serve sesame and cucumber flavored rice on the side with kids meals is ok?). I hadn’t shopped in advance for the winter for the girls. I am cutting down on a lot of stuff, clothes, books etc so until then I don’t want to hoard anything in advance, so we have been shopping for jackets and clothes for kids as and when we happen to stop at the mall. My favorite spots for the girls are Gymboree and Gap Kids as of now. This weekend didn’t find anything interesting though. Picked up winter head gear at Macy’s, where we had stopped to buy a toaster there, since ours is not working any more. It gave a pretty good service for 5 years and it just died few weeks back, so it’s been a pain to toast in the pan on the stove.

Fall has set in officially I guess, its already early sixties today. A busy week at work….yawn!!!